Article by Smt Sreedevi Haridas

I often wonder if we, as parents, have expressed our love for our children the way they had longed for. Have we been the parents that matched their expectations? We believe we have been good parents. We believe in providing them with ‘everything’ in our opinion they need, making them independent to lead a wonderful life. Is that all that is required of us? Where did we get this model from? From our parents? Yes perhaps!  When we want to give our best to our child, we look back and see how our parents have treated us.We absorb what we consider pleasant that our parents have delivered to us and pass it on to our children. This is called copying the parents. We also make up for what our parents have not been able to give us, in dealing with our children. As parents it is understood that they have given the children “THE BEST”. Sometimes we are too blind to analyze if our parents ever went wrong and pass on the happiness, and the hurts, downwards. In our eagerness to be the good parents who we always want to be, we tend to overlook the key aspect of affection delivery, the one about how our children perceive what we give them. We need to have a finger on their pulse all the time and respond in a manner that makes their horizon grow wider as they grow up!

The task can be made easy. Parenting is full of challenges. It is a lovely experience if you learn how to manage them. We need to learn to express our love to them by discovering their favourite expression of love. This will help them connect to you better as they grow.

Expression of love is not all about hugging, kissing, cajoling and cuddling together. It is about connecting each other all the time. What really matters is how you behave to them as well as to the others (you are being watched all the time!) during the off times… times when no hugs and kisses and physical expressions happen!
How do we make this happen? Today’s working parents are really hard pressed for time. With a hectic work schedule they are not often able to spend quality time with children. Even when time is short there are a few ways you can convey your love to them.                 …To be continued

Smt Sreedevi Haridas is an expert LD remediator and counsellor, and has been working with the ATMA Chid & Adolescent Development Centre since 2012.

To know more about ATMA CADC, visit

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